What do you need?

When we see someone starving, we know they need food. When someone is homeless, we know they need four walls and a roof. When someone is ill, we know they need a doctor. The signs of starvation, homelessness and sickness are mostly obvious.

We must and we want to help feed the hungry, house the homeless and heal the sick. The need is great and it’s easy to feel like we can do something tangible and immediate to help: add an extra can of beans in the supermarket donation box, serve at the soup kitchen, sponsor a child. Those needs make sense to us. We can see them. We know how to respond and we feel good about doing so. 

But what if the need is less obvious, what if someone needs help coping with thoughts of suicide? Would I notice? Would you? And if we did, what on earth would we do?

It’s not quite so obvious is it.

As a suicide survivor myself, and now as a suicide prevention trainer, I hope I can help shed some light.

Firstly, we know there’s a need. It still appalls me that 17 people die by suicide each day in the UK. Worldwide, one person dies by suicide every two seconds, and estimates show that in any given two week period, 1 in 20 people are struggling to hold on to life.

I guess the good news is that that leaves 19 of us who can help.

The truth is, people almost always tell us when they’re thinking about suicide, whether consciously or not. They communicate it in countless and creative ways. And once we notice, meeting that need isn’t as complicated as we might fear.

For someone with thoughts of suicide, the question of my title, “What do you need?” usually has a simple answer: “I need someone to listen to me.”

It really is that simple, and the bonus is, it costs less money than that can of beans you put in the supermarket donation box (obviously, keep doing that).

We don’t need to fix lives, solve problems, or make everything better. We simply need to listen with acceptance and compassion. Sometimes that means no more than a gentle nod or a few words of encouragement: “Thank you for telling me.”

This blog didn’t start as a pitch for suicide prevention training, but as I write, I realise someone reading this might want to learn more about how to meet this kind of need. If that’s you, we’re running a free training session at the end of September. Please get in touch, or follow the link for details. And do share this page with anyone else who might be interested.

If you’d like to learn more about RunningSpace and how we’re praying, running, or walking alongside those affected by suicide, let us know, we’d love to hear from you. Together we want to meet this desperate but often hidden need, to respond in a helpful way, and yes, feel good about doing so. 

Come and run with us, it might just change your life…

Link to free safeTALK suicide awareness and prevention training